This might be better answered by those with kids in sports but feel free to offer up your opinion.  I'm sure you've got kids McNulty even if you've never seen them.

Here's my dilemma:  I have a 6 year old son who is a big kid, he's tall and solid. This summer he showed an interest in playing football and we decided he could try it out.  He's a somewhat sensitive kid (not a whiner) but he's a pretty good athlete.  He made a U8 travel baseball team for reference.

Well, we are in to football by about $300 bucks with equipment and registration fees.  And he hates it.  He tries to get out of tackling and blocking by taking bathroom breaks and was crying when I told him he had to go back down and return to practice.  I've talked to the coach about it and he says its the same for most of the kids when they first start football.  He told us to hang in there.  He's confident that this will pass.  He told us to reward him with a slurpee or something after practice which we are doing and it seems to help somewhat.

The thing is, he's an imposing kid on the field.  Because of his size, they originally wanted to move him up.  When he does try, he's pretty good.  However, he moves slow and just isn't into it.  He's the Jared Gaither of U6 football.

He's at his aunt's today and she just called me and said he told her he hates football and she thinks we should pull him out of it.  Now, her kids are the most undisciplined kids you'll ever meet so anything coming from her is worthless.  But, he still reached out to her.

I'm kinda at a loss as to what to do here.  I don't feel like he should quit.  I've talked to him about honoring his commitment and I don't think its the right thing to do to let him quit.  On the other hand, he's miserable.  But how long with that last?  I feel like he will feel better about himself if he stuck this out as opposed to quitting.  

What do you guys think?

I think you should make him stay for at least this season, and re-evaluate in the off-season.

This is 100% identical to me, word for word, at that age... My dad let me quit, and it's one of the bigger regrets of my childhood.

From what I can remember at that age (which isn't much), it was more just getting used to the contact, as well as the difference of a football lockerroom than a baseball one... they're very different.

It's great you've talked to him about the commitment piece, that's an important lesson. Another lesson is in embracing the moment, even if it's not ideal, rather than resisting it and making matters worse.

I'm not a parent, so I have zero idea if I would feel the same way if this were actually my son.

Sorry you have this situation man, that's pretty brutal.

You will get lots of opinions... but you know your kid best, and your opinion is the one that counts.

I wouldn't second guess yourself too much either way.

I will say that I personally see it similar to Ricker.

I agree about having him finish the season.

With that said, him not playing football long-term may be a good thing given the health concerns, especially concussion related, which is becoming more and more evident.

Yep, I'd have to think seriously about this when I am in that position. We'll see what kind of strides they're making by then.

Miller,

That sounds like a really difficult situation. I'm not going to pretend to know the situation that well so take what I'm saying FWIW. I don't think there's a "right" answer here. I'm inclined to say to him, "I invested a substantial amount of money here, all I'm asking you to do is stick with this for the rest of this season.

I know this isn't football and I was much older -- but when I did cross-country in high school my freshman year, I really wanted to quit. I had run in races previously on the weekends but that was only once week and a single AM. Cross country is much harder than outsiders realize IMO -- just the warm-up, two laps around the track was more than I was used to on a daily basis. When the coach saw me walking he offered to give me a refund for the shirt I bought. People who were better athletes than I am quit, mostly because they couldn't handle it My parents refused to let me quit, my mom specifically told me, "just make it through the season." I did that and ended up doing it the next four years plus indoor/outdoor track. That was basically my social group in high school. So from a social perspective, I can see how beneficial football might be (like I said, I know very little about your kid).

Ok enough about me. I think if he just downright miserable and the odds are stacked about him changing his mindset. I can see why you would just cut his(your) losses.

I like the slurpee idea and other incentives. My parents did that with me, I think it worked. Is there anything he really wants (within reason) that you could offer him as a reward if he makes it through football with minimal issues? That's personally what I would do is some big reward, along with smaller ones along the way.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do!

I think you should make him stay for at least this season, and re-evaluate in the off-season.

 

This is 100% identical to me, word for word, at that age... My dad let me quit, and it's one of the bigger regrets of my childhood.

 

From what I can remember at that age (which isn't much), it was more just getting used to the contact, as well as the difference of a football lockerroom than a baseball one... they're very different.

 

It's great you've talked to him about the commitment piece, that's an important lesson. Another lesson is in embracing the moment, even if it's not ideal, rather than resisting it and making matters worse.

 

I'm not a parent, so I have zero idea if I would feel the same way if this were actually my son.

 

Sorry you have this situation man, that's pretty brutal.

That's almost exactly how I feel on these things, honoring your contract so to speak. If you don't want to do something once the committment is over, so be it.

I think you should make him stay for at least this season, and re-evaluate in the off-season.

I would agree with this, though he is your child. There's something to be said for honoring your commitments, and at a young age, it's a great lesson to learn.

When it's your kid it's all rules out the window, what people think are acceptable and whatnot.

I'd say if he's THAT miserable, take him out. As long as he likes to do other active things, and he's not just trying to get out of it for having to be active, it's hard to be too upset with him. Not every sport is for everyone, and there is nothing more painful for a parent than seeing a kid miserable being forced to do something their parents want them to do.

I have to face something similar with my girls with soccer, the older one loves the social side of it, and just wants to hang out and play with her friends, but she has no interest in the competitive serious side she has to do as she gets older (this coming season).

I'd say if he likes the baseball thing and he's not complaining there, then take him at his word and let him out. If he changes his mind and tries to talk you into it another year that's a whole different set of circumstances, but I hate when parents force kids to play a sport because they liked it, no two kids are the same.

Forget the trying to teach him a lesson about commitment, he's 6 years old, he's too young for it to mean anything yet. Some kids will be miserable when doing the conditioning and whatnot, but have a GREAT time when the fun scrimmage and other stuff starts, if he's still not enjoying those drills and things, he just doesn't like the sport, maybe he'll pick it up later, or just won't be a football kid. It's totally fine either way.

I think 6 is too young to be playing football. That's just an opinion based on a hunch, but I think it's too young for the type of commitment that football requires (4 to 6 days a week) as well as some brain development issues. I'm with mweb when it comes to the dangers and I won't allow my son to play when he's of age, fwiw.

I'm not trying to discount age here, but I think size is very important. I kind of thought the same thing initially when Miller said he was six, but from his discreption, it sounds like he might be able to handle it. I'm 5'5 and I was always "undersized," so it's a bit hard for me to relate to this subject.

When it's your kid it's all rules out the window, what people think are acceptable and whatnot.

 

I'd say if he's THAT miserable, take him out. As long as he likes to do other active things, and he's not just trying to get out of it for having to be active, it's hard to be too upset with him. Not every sport is for everyone, and there is nothing more painful for a parent than seeing a kid miserable being forced to do something their parents want them to do.

 

I have to face something similar with my girls with soccer, the older one loves the social side of it, and just wants to hang out and play with her friends, but she has no interest in the competitive serious side she has to do as she gets older (this coming season).

 

I'd say if he likes the baseball thing and he's not complaining there, then take him at his word and let him out. If he changes his mind and tries to talk you into it another year that's a whole different set of circumstances, but I hate when parents force kids to play a sport because they liked it, no two kids are the same.

 

Forget the trying to teach him a lesson about commitment, he's 6 years old, he's too young for it to mean anything yet. Some kids will be miserable when doing the conditioning and whatnot, but have a GREAT time when the fun scrimmage and other stuff starts, if he's still not enjoying those drills and things, he just doesn't like the sport, maybe he'll pick it up later, or just won't be a football kid. It's totally fine either way.

Good perspective from another parent. As I said, without being a parent, it's really hard for me to say with any conviction what I'd do.

Make him play without a helmet.

The problem is, if you let him out now, will that teach him that he can get out of anything by just pretending he is miserable?

The problem is, if you let him out now, will that teach him that he can get out of anything by just pretending he is miserable?

From personal experience, that's a habit I got into at a young age. I'd buck up against, and resist things I didn't like, rather than embracing it and making the most out of it. I've over come that, but it's still something I wish I learned at an earlier age. I won't blame my parents though, because I'm sure I made it incredibly tough on them.

I think 6 is too young to be playing football. That's just an opinion based on a hunch, but I think it's too young for the type of commitment that football requires (4 to 6 days a week) as well as some brain development issues.

I'm with mweb when it comes to the dangers and I won't allow my son to play when he's of age, fwiw.

The problem is, if you let him out now, will that teach him that he can get out of anything by just pretending he is miserable?

At 6 it's not going to teach them anything one way or the other. Commitment isn't a term they can grasp that young.

Also, there's a huge difference between pretending to be miserable and actually being miserable.

This is an easy one.  Give him some ridiculous chores and tell him that if he completes them, he can quit.  Make him earn his way out somehow.  You're a military guy right?  EMI his ass! ;D

This way he realizes life has consequences to your actions AND you find out if he really hates it that much.

I think you should make him stay for at least this season, and re-evaluate in the off-season.

 

This is 100% identical to me, word for word, at that age... My dad let me quit, and it's one of the bigger regrets of my childhood.

 

From what I can remember at that age (which isn't much), it was more just getting used to the contact, as well as the difference of a football lockerroom than a baseball one... they're very different.

 

It's great you've talked to him about the commitment piece, that's an important lesson. Another lesson is in embracing the moment, even if it's not ideal, rather than resisting it and making matters worse.

 

I'm not a parent, so I have zero idea if I would feel the same way if this were actually my son.

 

Sorry you have this situation man, that's pretty brutal.

You hit on my fear and there's a history here for me too.

When I was 7, I played little league baseball.  One night during a game, the other team had a pitcher who I thought threw really hard.  I was afraid to face him.

When it was my at-bat I refused to go up to the plate.  The coaches pleaded with me but I was too afraid.

Next thing I knew, the umpire called me out and my team got upset with me.  This still haunts me today.

How long have they been practicing for so far this year?