59 replies to this topic

[JeremyStrain]

Thanks.  It sucks to know he's not really having fun right now.

 

We'll see.  My wife thinks he's going to change his mind in a couple of weeks and really like it.

 

Yeah that's possible. The drills/conditioning part is no where near as fun as the games part, and the practices are lighter at that point.

 

I'd agree that's a lot more likely knowing that it was his idea to play.

 

I see so many of the ones whose psycho parents force them to play and then scream at them all game that it makes me want to go over and punch them in the throat. I guess that's probably more prevalent in southern MD though.

[Pedro Cerrano]

If he hates football and likes baseball, just keep him in baseball.

 

Baseball's better anyway

[DJ MC]

I come at this issue from the kid's side. I grew up playing baseball and some other sports, and as much as I loved doing that, there would usually come a time during the season where, either out of boredom or frustration, I would beg my dad to let me quit. He would always say that at the end of the season if I decided I still didn't like it I wouldn't have to go back, but I made the commitment for the season and I should see it through. There is only one time that turned out to be the case (indoor soccer, which I legitimately disliked), and I would always go back to baseball (and for a while basketball) the next year. He understood that I did enjoy playing those sports and that would always show through in the end.

 

You know your kid, and what he does and doesn't like. If he likes to watch football, and throw the ball around and things like that, I would say you should enforce the commitment as much as possible. If he otherwise has little connection to the sport, that's when it becomes a more difficult decision.

 

Also, if the hitting and tackling is the real issue, you may want to think about getting him involved in flag football, at least for a while. That way he can learn the sport without having to worry about the other parts that he may not find as fun, until he starts wanting to hit people

[SammyBirdland]

Is there any special equipment you can buy him that would make him more comfortable hitting/being hit?   Maybe some extra padding would help him build confidence (if that's the issue).

 

 

Maybe something like this:

 

[MKlein76]

I quickly just skimmed through the thread, so I apologize if you already answered this. But, do you know exactly why he hates it? Is it just because its practice an he gets bored with it? From reading through some of the responses, he seems to be okay and having fun when he makes a good play and gets congratulated by a coach. He also seemed to enjoy the after practice slurpee. Maybe he doesn't seem to like it because he could be a little unsure of what he's supposed to be doing and doesn't want to mess up in front of the coaches or his parents?

[Miller192]

I quickly just skimmed through the thread, so I apologize if you already answered this. But, do you know exactly why he hates it? Is it just because its practice an he gets bored with it? From reading through some of the responses, he seems to be okay and having fun when he makes a good play and gets congratulated by a coach. He also seemed to enjoy the after practice slurpee. Maybe he doesn't seem to like it because he could be a little unsure of what he's supposed to be doing and doesn't want to mess up in front of the coaches or his parents?

 

He doesn't like the tackling or blocking.  The funny thing is, the kids are so much smaller than him that it's like getting hit by his 3 year old sister.  He also struggles with the gear.  He's dragging ass with it

[Miller192]

So last night before practice, he started saying his stomach hurt and that he couldn't practice.  I decided that was enough and had a long talk with him.  If it gets so bad that its affecting him physically than its time to call it quits.

 

I gave him two options:  1.  He can quit right now and I'll go turn in his or equipment.  No question asked, we don't even have to talk about it again or 2.  We can install some type of reward system where he gets rewarded for a good week of practice. Not just showing up, but working hard in practice. Basically, how the SEC recruits players.

 

He actually choose to play for the rewards ($$$) instead of quitting.  He also asked me to help coach.

 

Well, that was pretty much all it took.  He had a great night of practice and they moved him to center.  No more bathroom breaks or tears. 

 

The funny thing is, when I was helping out, half the kids on the team wanted to stop playing at some point.  I guess that's how it is at that age.

 

We'll see how the season progresses.

[Miller192]

Is there any special equipment you can buy him that would make him more comfortable hitting/being hit?   Maybe some extra padding would help him build confidence (if that's the issue).

 

 

Maybe something like this:

 

 

Believe me, I've got one of those.

[You Play to Win the Game]

That's awesome.

[Oriole85]

So last night before practice, he started saying his stomach hurt and that he couldn't practice.  I decided that was enough and had a long talk with him.  If it gets so bad that its affecting him physically than its time to call it quits.

 

I gave him two options:  1.  He can quit right now and I'll go turn in his or equipment.  No question asked, we don't even have to talk about it again or 2.  We can install some type of reward system where he gets rewarded for a good week of practice. Not just showing up, but working hard in practice. Basically, how the SEC recruits players.

 

He actually choose to play for the rewards ($$$) instead of quitting.  He also asked me to help coach.

 

Well, that was pretty much all it took.  He had a great night of practice and they moved him to center.  No more bathroom breaks or tears. 

 

The funny thing is, when I was helping out, half the kids on the team wanted to stop playing at some point.  I guess that's how it is at that age.

 

We'll see how the season progresses.

That sounds like a good course of action to just say choose one or the other, there's really no wrong decision. Hopefully the reward system works and I like how it wasn't just for "showing up." Hope things work out!

[Nigel Tufnel]

If he's a big kid, they probably made him play the line. It could just be that he thinks it's boring to never touch the ball.  Maybe playing center will help with that.

[Mashed Potatoes]

I'd like to push back on the idea that 6 year olds can't grasp the concept of commitment and therefor it's not worth trying to push. I worked in a program called philosophy for kids that dug into deep topics with 1st graders, and was blown away at the insights and understanding they displayed (as with everything there was variation from one kid to another). Different teaching approaches yield different results.

 

Defining a term in your own words and then saying why you think it is important is very different from taking that same term, introducing it via a developmentally appropriate story, asking guided questions, and then structuring activities to make personal connections to the theme.

 

For example, I plan on emphasizing the concept of integrity in my classroom this year. I'm not just going to write it on a piece of paper and then hold kids accountable to it. I'm going to do read them the story of the boy who cried wolf, ask them questions about why the town didn't believe him anymore, and the impact of not keeping your word. I'm going to have them brainstorm situations in their own life where someone kept their word, how that made them feel, and what they decided about that person afterwards, as well as the opposite where folks didn't keep their word, how that made them feel and how that impacted their relationship. I'm going to have them pick one of those stories to write more extensively about. I'm going to have them connect how keeping or not keeping their word might affect their ability to reach the goals they set for themselves earlier. I'm then going to define the term in student friendly language, have it posted on the walls, and refer back to it. Students will have points during the year where they'll self-reflect on their own level of integrity...blah blah blah

 

In my experiences working with kids, studying neuroscience and psychology, and teaching, I've found that just about anything is accessible to kids, given a thorough amount of scaffolding.

 

 

I applaud your effort to discuss serious values and moral issues with your kids, it's not meaningless and at the very least it creates the foundation for future conversations. Now about that extrinsic motivation tactic ($$$) I've got some readings to send you!

[JeremyStrain]

I'd like to push back on the idea that 6 year olds can't grasp the concept of commitment and therefor it's not worth trying to push. I worked in a program called philosophy for kids that dug into deep topics with 1st graders, and was blown away at the insights and understanding they displayed (as with everything there was variation from one kid to another). Different teaching approaches yield different results.

Defining a term in your own words and then saying why you think it is important is very different from taking that same term, introducing it via a developmentally appropriate story, asking guided questions, and then structuring activities to make personal connections to the theme.

For example, I plan on emphasizing the concept of integrity in my classroom this year. I'm not just going to write it on a piece of paper and then hold kids accountable to it. I'm going to do read them the story of the boy who cried wolf, ask them questions about why the town didn't believe him anymore, and the impact of not keeping your word. I'm going to have them brainstorm situations in their own life where someone kept their word, how that made them feel, and what they decided about that person afterwards, as well as the opposite where folks didn't keep their word, how that made them feel and how that impacted their relationship. I'm going to have them pick one of those stories to write more extensively about. I'm going to have them connect how keeping or not keeping their word might affect their ability to reach the goals they set for themselves earlier. I'm then going to define the term in student friendly language, have it posted on the walls, and refer back to it. Students will have points during the year where they'll self-reflect on their own level of integrity...blah blah blah

In my experiences working with kids, studying neuroscience and psychology, and teaching, I've found that just about anything is accessible to kids, given a thorough amount of scaffolding.


I applaud your effort to discuss serious values and moral issues with your kids, it's not meaningless and at the very least it creates the foundation for future conversations. Now about that extrinsic motivation tactic ($$$) I've got some readings to send you!

That's a great lesson and plan. Probably about the best way you will ever see anyone try to teach empathy, but they will either have it or they won't. Many adults don't have it yet. The ones that have enough emotional intelligence that sounds like a perfect way to develop it, and I can't remember the stats but the average age for complete empathy development is like 12 or something (although my oldest daughter blows that out the water and has shown solid traits of it since 3).

I'd be really interested to see how many of them legit grab the concept when you are teaching that though, sounds like a great one to study.

[You Play to Win the Game]

MP - If you could send me those readings too, I'd appreciate it. I'm very much so intrigued on the subject. Thanks.

[McNulty]

I didn't think it was possible for Harvard to make you a worse teacher, but that appears to be the case. Awful, awful ideas dude.

[Mashed Potatoes]

Jeremy, it's true that there are a variety of genetic predispositions to empathy, but the "they have it or they don't" framework is an oversimplistic dichotomy that's inconsistent with modern genetics and neuroscience. The very structure of our brains change based on the experiences we have and the subjective meaning making we do regularly.

 

I'm wondering where you're getting the idea of "complete empathy development" as that seems absurd to me for a variety of reasons. Citation time!

 

 

Here's the reading on motivation that came to mind from earlier,

 

http://ww.selfdeterm...tierRyan_EP.pdf

[JeremyStrain]

Jeremy, it's true that there are a variety of genetic predispositions to empathy, but the "they have it or they don't" framework is an oversimplistic dichotomy that's inconsistent with modern genetics and neuroscience. The very structure of our brains change based on the experiences we have and the subjective meaning making we do regularly.
 
I'm wondering where you're getting the idea of "complete empathy development" as that seems absurd to me for a variety of reasons. Citation time!
 
 
Here's the reading on motivation that came to mind from earlier,
 
http://ww.selfdeterm...tierRyan_EP.pdf

Most every reading I made on it, including Piaget, pegged the final stage of development essential for really understanding empathy and not just the cause and effect aspect, being between 7-12 depending on the person.

[Mashed Potatoes]

Most every reading I made on it, including Piaget, pegged the final stage of development essential for really understanding empathy and not just the cause and effect aspect, being between 7-12 depending on the person.

 

Piaget's stages of development are simply a way to classify behavior so that WE CAN LOOK BEHIND these classifications to observe the diversity of behavior and gain a better understanding of causal mechanisms. Similarly, Darwin – looked at finches and classified them based on their beaks, but that classification was simply a means to understanding what is going on to cause variability. It was less about the stages and more about the processes, the interactions with the environment that causes an organism to reorganize itself. Furthermore once someone has shown a capability for empathy, does not mean they remain at that level for the rest of their lives. We act differently in different circumstances based on where we are, who we are with, our current emotional state and what goals are at stake. 

 

In my opinion the work of education is to create circumstances where a child (or adult's) interactions with the environment bring about high levels of empathy, and have that ingrained to the point where it's resilient across multiple contexts. This is ongoing work regardless if one has reached such levels at one point in the past or not.

[Miller192]

Pretty interesting stuff MP.

 

Tell me, why do you think that my reward system might be a bad idea?

[DuffMan]

Just curious if Miller had any sort of update on how the rest of the season has gone?